Sunday, October 7, 2007
Hey, More Bitching! Fabulous!
Today was an irritating day. Actually, the whole weekend kind of sucked. I got the living room cleaned up, I avoided the office like crazy, and I progressed into a deeper fit of dissatisfaction and pissyness. I moved one couch and at least the living room is looking more ready for the meeting on Tuesday. I did scrub the kichen floor which was pressing for so long, I hate it so much. But I don't understand why I am like this. Am I really destined for my life to suck if I don't have medication or something? I feel like there is never going to be a balance and I am going to have to lie to myself about having a good attitude or whatever I want people to think of me. How am I going to be that successful and together person that I want people to see me as? I already know that I am horrible at so many things. My husband hates it when I am down on myself and tells me not to do that to myself, but I am really just trying to face myself, even if it doesn't sound nice. I really want to get better. I am afraid that I am destined to be unsuccessful and that it is out of my hands. I have problems!! I cannot manage this house, these kids and what I am trying to do! It is not supposed to be this hard! I am beside myself depressed. It will probably pass, but I don't know when all of this stuff is going to happen.